How wonky have your thinking patterns been this past week?
Have you found yourself disappearing down a rabbit hole of thinking in extreme all-or-nothing terms?
Or careering off into the chasm of catastrophising?
These are both forms of cognitive distortion. I started musing on what cognitive distortions are last time. As we consider what it means to change the way we think, it can be helpful to have a clearer framework of what is actually going on first.
There are a range of cognitive distortions that are brains can use to trap us in erroneous thinking. To start with, I want to consider three that seem to fit under the same broad umbrella:
Polarised thinking
Overgeneralised thinking
Catastrophising
Polarised thinking
This is when we see things in very black-and-white terms. Our brains quickly jump to either one scenario or the polar opposite, with no gray areas in between. We think in extreme terms, without stopping to consider the range of possible evaluations. It is either succeed or fail, good or bad, positive or negative with no scope for options in between. This shuts the door immediately to alternative options, a more balanced approach and a more measured objective assessment that is much more likely to be the truth.
Catastrophising
A cousin of polarised thinking – when we catastrophise, we jump straight to worst-case-scenario thinking. Ordinary every day worries and concerns escalate rapidly causing us untold anxiety and stress. We can dread a situation unnecessarily because we fear the worst and we predict negative outcomes in the future based on little to no evidence.
Overgeneralised thinking
A slightly more distance cousin but this looks like reaching a conclusion about one event based on experience of another, but entirely separate event. One person snubs you at work, and your brain jumps to the conclusion that no one likes you and you are a rubbish friend and co-worker. 
What is the impact of these thinking patterns?
First off, it is exhausting. And worse, it traps us in a dark place without being able to see more hopefully what is actually going on.
It takes up so much time and energy as we spiral down negative thinking loops into the horrors that we predict lie await for us there. This brings stress, anxiety, lack of peace and clarity and can mean that we react rather than respond to the situation. We make decisions based on our emotions before we have time to gather objective evidence to help us see what might be true instead.
I acknowledge that I am a person of extremes and can get stuck in both polarised and catastrohpising thinking quite easily. MB (My Beloved as he is known on here) once observed:
You don’t do even keel do you?”
Hmmm.
He has a point. I am an exuberant person who loves life and likes to experience things to the full. So far, so good.
However, the opposite also plays out all-too-often in my mind and then translates to my behaviour.
I will receive an email, or someone will make a comment, or a fairly simple and innocuous situation will occur, but in my mind I will jump straight to the extreme assessment of this. “If I don’t do/sort/resolve this fully NOW the world is going to end…”
This, I have been told, can be somewhat trying to live with.
Hmmm again.
Emotions are neither bad or good. They just are.
However, when we – I – react to a situation based only on my emotional response, and that emotional response is faulty, things are not going to go well.
When I can learn to notice my emotions and see them for what they are – without judgement – and step back from that precipe I can then make a different, and healthier choice. Questions to address wonky thinking patterns include:
- What other options might there be?
- What do I know to be true here?
- Are there other perspectives I can choose to look at here?
- When has a situation like this happened before that HASN’T led to the negative outcome I am anticipating?
A couple of qualifiers here.
Firstly, sometimes our brains develop these cognitive distortions as very important coping mechanisms. If horrible things have happened to you regularly in the past, it is entirely reasonable that your brain and body will be wired to anticipate horrible things in the future. Getting the right help and support to unravel all that is important.
And I am aware that my menopausal symptoms precipitated a degree of catastrophising that was very out of character for me. Getting medical help here has made a big difference. I do still need to notice my thinking and make healthier, and more objective choices. But there was also a hormonal cause at play that needed properly addressed.
Notice your own thinking patterns this week and see what you observe.
As always, no judgement. But notice, step back, ask yourself questions and see where that takes you.